just wanted to check in. am at work now, there's a slight breeze of relaxation right now. phew!

my new (and 3rd within a year!) boss just came with my current one. it's introduction-day, so it's time to put up my better sides. thank god i've shaved!

i think i'm going to apply for jobs today. i'm getting tired of manpower. and especially where i am now. thank heaven for my pal freddie kreuger. without him, this place would have been hell. we can at least have fun comparing man boobs.

laundry day today as well. and tomorrow it's pay day! woohoo! the vacation left me broke and i have no food nor money. and now is the time to continue with the apartment. buying curtains and bed sheets. i'm so daft sometimes! bought a new, bigger bed some time ago, and didn't think about buying new bed sheets, so most of them are to small.

well, i'm off... to new adventures!

checking for a new job @ work

i'm trying a new approach at work right now. i'm writing a cv so that i can send job applications. during work. cause i'm done with this job now.
and i'm done reading the paper at work. and watching cartoons. and playing games. and surfing the internet and checking my mail three times a day (except, we're prohibited to enter community sites, so no surfing on them).
so now, i'm hunting for a new job. and i've found a few. my only hesitation to applying is if it actually came through and i was offered a job. it would be great, but since i've been working for so long at manpower, i've become comfortable with the life of a consultant. and my catch 22 - my boss told me right after i started this (dreadful) assignment that, when summer would end and new assignment would come in, she would be on the lookout for a new, better and more challenging assignment for me.
and so i've been checking for new jobs or assignments, but not quite daring to send in the application. well, no more! i'm gonna search for a new job and if anyone disagrees... well, tuff luck!

and about this assignment? well, it's the first assignment, where i've felt that my iq has dropped. where i'm not as social as usually. and the first assignment i've come to hate. really, from the bottom of my heart. i hate it. i hate it so much, i've become one of those bitter, whining bitches at work that's telling everyone how bad that place is. and i loathe people who whine about their work! so, i can't stay.

slowest day ever *knock on wood*

this is possibly the slowest day ever! this afternoon, i'm handling the incoming faxes and mail at work, not answering the phone, and so far, i had the most to do right before lunch. i came back 1h20m ago and have had in total 5 orders (they take around 3 minutes to do)! 5!!! the rest of the time, i've been watching this manga-series, called "heroic age". the storyline is good and the cartoon drawings are really nice. my only problem is that i don't understand japanese, but they have subtitles for that. i'm soon starting on the 14th episode. in 2 days. at work... now, isn't that a pathetic job. and veoh is my best friend at work.

heroic age - wikipedia

unfortunately, you're not allowed to enter web communities, so i can't check myspace nor facebook. otherwise, i could have tried to beat my old co-worker henrik's movie quiz score of over 6000 points (you get 10 points for every right answer)! awesome, yet... so pointless. but i don't fully understand facebook yet. some things seem complicated. like when you change any of those applications (funny), you can't change the settings. but, well, well. we'll see where it ends. sweden's biggest gay community, qx wasn't all that fun. trying out the global version, gay.com, but it's just a taaad big.

so, for now, it's my blog and the cartoons.

calm day at work, not to much to do now. i'll be off the phone, so i'm hoping i won't get to much mail and such. ;)

the stupid payroll office doesn't seem to know jack sh*t. just got a raise, from may 1st. the negotiation didn't end until now in july, so we have some extra money to cash in. but the payroll office doesn't seem to know when. :( i want that money for my vacation!

martina graduating for real!

she's not the first of my friends that's finished university, but she's the one that makes me most proud of having done it.

martina has now finished 5½ years of studying social science and psychology to become a teacher. she did it without any studentloans, with a job on the side and for the past 10 months moving and redecorating a whole apartment (and i'm telling you, she didn't just change the drapes. it was the whole shabang)! still, never did she miss, nor fail any test and most of them did she not just get grades, but good, higher, highest grades.

on top of that, has she also gotten her a job! as a teacher, mind you, not that many (except in math and natural science) get those jobs in the beginning. she did though have to exchange psychology for computer, but seriously, that class is so simple, a brain dead 2-year old could hold it. it's about word and excel. not so tuff.

anyway, she invited close friends and family over last saturday to celebrate. that included me and it was nice to meet up with her and people i hadn't met for a while. and... i think i've talked martina's mother on going on a cruise with me. hmmm...
martina had, for this day, made pies and cake covered in whipped cream and strawberries. i can only tell you how delisch everything was (which reminds me; martina, i want those recepies!) and i was almost bloated when i went home.


congratulations martina on you finishing school! not alot of people would have been able to do it the way you did. but you did it, not just mediocre, but brilliantly. many best of wishes to the girl that's become a woman! ;) i'm proud!

sponsored by manpower

last wednesday, our department at manpower invited us for dinner and a boatride along the archipelago in stockholm. we got to chose between schrimps or tacos and along with beer or wine. there was live music on the boat and... well, you can see for yourself. :)

just wanted to say... i hate my fucking job!!!

yesterday @ norra brunn

yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

i drank all the beer my belly could sway, oh

i believe in yesterday

suddenly, the crowd broke out in laughter counting on three

there was a joke hanging over me, oh

yesterday, was playfully

how they can make those jokes, i don't know, they wouldn't say

i sence it was the passing bong but who am i anyway

yesterday, comedians had a crowd that was drunk and gay

now i'm at my fucking job and i wish it away, oh

yesterday, come back and play

psycho bitch from hell

omg!!! just had a crazy lady in my ear and oh my god(!!!) was she a drag. or, i wish she was one, at least her comments had been witty and gay (name the musical).

so, i work in a customer service for a phonecompany, with certain duties. and this lady was way off our business of expertise. so i tried to help her to the right customer service. but this lady wasn't even going to ask for that. she wanted to know what had happened to her phone. 20 minutes, i sat with her, trying to make her understand that our department did not handle that type of problems. 20 minutes!!! some might say, that it's not much, but add the fact that an average call lasts for about 3 minutes, then it's one hell of a call! not to mention that i didn't have a saying in there, except for a total of 1½ minutes. not kidding!

in the end, my colleagues had gathered round me (for support?) and she was directed to our customer service manager... that told her the same thing i did.

smalltalk with the boss

my boss came over today to my workplace. we had a small chat about my future and expectations with manpower and such. the place i'm working @ now is somewhere closer to 'barely tolerant' on a scale from good to excruciating. yeah, yeah, nice people and all that, but let's face it. when you're stuck with a job description fitting a blind monkey, with his hands tied behind his back, it's not a feast for the intellect to going to work, exactly. but my boss is good, we're on the same page. then we smalltalked a bit. not everyday one smalltalks to the boss. we both talked about going to the george micheal concert held on june 29th.

ps. i just bought a ticket to the "way out west" festival on august 10-11! woohoo! ds.

just gotta say... im booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored @ work! it sucks!

first timers

ahh... woke up around 9.30 Sunday morning and felt rested and new. why, and yes, i have a new bed. thanks for noticing. ;) went to ikea on friday and bought myself a bed. and i've slept in it for the first time. all i can say is mmm...

and for the first time in a long time, i told someone off. i showed my anger, i told her what i thought (without going evil on her ass). the co-worker who commented on my effort at work. she had evasive explanations and sweet talk in her back pocket, but the anger only faded slowly. so we talked. she apologized. and i accepted.
i do think that her apology was real, but i don't think that she really understood why i became mad at her in the first place. the good news is though that i'm not angry about it any more. and not bitter, cursing and talking it over in the head while doing dishes, like so many times before.

another first timer was a woman i met tonight. a truely wonderful woman, whom i invited for coffee and talked to. bright, humble, person with the skills to see you and meet you at your level. a woman who follows her gut feeling. and i like that. my own gut feeling says that she's a keeper.

and in, not the distant future lies a trip to the states and especially the big apple. first time all over, in other words. haven't met my friend, the f-man in several years, whom i'll be staying at. and the rest is just for the first time!

first timers... i like'em!

getting it out of your system

you know those times when you get a totally absurd thought in your mind, and no matter what you do, you can't get it out?

well, yesterday when i came home, i was pondering about in the fridge, trying to elaborate my evening feast. in my fridge, i found black pudding, just lying in the shades, on the top shelf. as i took it out of the fridge, my starving stomach roared. and then i found myself staring at it. the black pudding. to eat or not to eat, was the question at hand. or so one, might think. my question was more leaning towards if the pig whose blood i was about to digest had aids. and with that question, my mind froze.

now, how in jesus name am i going to eat black pudding, now that i, somehow, came to the conclusion had aids? i tried talking myself into that it just neede to be heated to 76°C. but it didn't work. and of course, i tried to tell myself, that i was just going mental on the poor pudding, but that, of course, definitely didn't help.
so i called a friend. tried to make him shake it off me. it didn't work. he almost convinced me to become a vegetarian, just to make sure that i didn't eat anything bloody.
what did help though was just to chat with him, letting it out so i could focus on something else. or getting it out of my system.

a dear, dear friend of mine is at the mental hospital and has been there for about a week. she has, from what i know, mentally collapsed, but is recovering and getting things that's been in her, out of her system, which is good. of course.
it makes me really ambivalent. i'm trying to stay strong, but at some points i burst. of course.

so when it comes to work, i've been a bit distracted, to say the least. and ambivalent to whether i should tell anyone at work about it. and with anyone, i'm mainly referring to my teamleader. i decided today that i was going to tell her. not an easy choice, i find, but i need to get it out of my system. expecially after today.
you see, i have a colleague who remarked on my perfomance at work today. she didn't think that i was doing good enough. and since, i have only felt an anger that's been growing. at my work, se have goals. of course. and our tl (teamleader) keeps statistics, which is open to everyone, since we all need to put in our data, our work in there. in my book, one can look, but not judge. and i work in the way that if i would use the statistics at hand, i would use them to see who is above me, so that i can work towards reaching their goals. and by that become better. but my colleague looked at the data from today that i had fed and thought that i should know that i hadn't done that many errands. which is like saying that i'm not doing my job. and that is the worst way to use statistics, between co-workers. i got so mad, that i almost cried. maybe i'm overreacting, but i feel violated. why comment such a thing? why make such a remark? why??! i don't understand it. it is not in her place to make remarks on the efforts i make at work. it is not in her place to control other co-workers results and base judgements according to them. she doesn't have a big enough picture to take a discussion on her co-workers efforts. is she calling me lazy? have bad working morale? what does she mean with making such a comment??! i got so mad about this, that i felt i couldn't even take my coffee break at the same time as the others, because i didn't want to sit and sip hot beverages close to her and her remarks.
so tomorrow. i'm getting it out of my system. which means war.

hey ya'll! talked to a friend of mine before and he expressed how disappointed he was that the blog hadn't been updated for such a long time. which is true. it was some time that i was here. well, i have been here, to start writing something, but i always end up getting bored of writing before i get to publish the post.

and so much has been going on since i wrote the last time. i've just been busy elsewhere. a lot of working, (my job demands overtime) which i really don't mind, since that means more cash (and even more now, thanks to the government in sweden). i don't know who knows, but there is a trip planned to n.y. in the end of march, to visit my dear old friend, the f-man. it's gonna be a whole week just having fun. but most of the times, that costs. so, my goal is to save $2000 just for spending... ;) hehe... and i've saved around $1000 so far, so it's not impossible.
then i've been living with the smurfs, but have finally moved home (no offence, smurfs) and the feeling of getting home... well, let's just say that i'm always carrying a pair of red shoes in my bag. the apartment isn't quite finished, but it is geting there, slowly but surely. i'm going off to ikea this week to buy a new bed and some other well-needed stuff. i have some ideas, but as always, one needs the money and the time to do it. but i will get there.

i've also fallen into playing computergames, especially neverwinter nights. and man is that a good game. i'm not quite the fanatic, letting it taking up all of my time, but i do play when i play. neverwinter nights 2 has come out and i will probably get it when i've finished the first one.
and i don't have a tv, but have been thinking about buying one, since i saw that you could get a 42" hdtv for around 18000 sek. and from what i've heard, that's expensive! when did tvs become so cheap?!? looked at the net and i saw the same tv for 14000 sek. but i've decided to wait with that for a while. i have my canapé to think about first of all. and then i'm not getting a tv unless i get an xbox 360. so there's a lot of stuff to buy in the world. and before i start with that kind of luxury merchandise, i'm going to start with the bed and lamps, a reading chair and some curtains.

yet for now, i'm enjoying what i can get on the internet. like this happy couple!

Flirting with the future

the renovation has started and i'm currently living in smurf town until it's all over. me, mom and dad went to buy tiles and clinkers. stopped by to see how the renovation progressed. and i had no kitchen. no bathroom. i did have a hole in the wall between. and even funnier, a big ol' hole right where the toilet used to be! and this weekend, i'm throwing out my old refrigerator and that nasty stove i got. i have been blessed with a family that cares and helps, cause my dad will be helping me as well as buying a new kitchen to the apartment!

my boss came over today to our workplace and we had a small chat. i didn't get my salary yesterday, but we quickly resolved that issue. to bad, the department that pays out the salary can't be as quick. but i'll get my money by tuesday at the latest. but that's not what our chat was about. it was more about my future at the company and my potentials. and there was little need of convincing her that i had potential, she made it clear that she was aware that the assignment i'm on right now isn't challenging enough. and we were on the same level that i needed to advance within the firm to stay challenged. maybe work as a teamleader. or at least something with greater responsability. so who knows where i might end after this assignment? but i justed stepped up on the ladder a bit. and that's happy.
last but not least, you all know that me and g-spotted ended our relationship. so, i'm single2mingle, as i say. and i've found myself a date! a cute and intelligent guy, a chemistry technician at KTH who seems really nice. now, i've only talked to him on the net, so i don't know really how he is, but from what i've seen and read, he seems like a pretty good guy. i'll give you guys an update on how the dating goes, but cross your fingers for me. ;)